Again
by Macey-the-Magical
Summary: When Tigerclaw walked away from Goldenflower, she thought she wouldn't survive. Now, seasons later, she looks back on what happened and remembers how it used to be, again. Again. Rated K with TigerxGolden and sadness. R&R pleeeez!


_Heyaz people! I had a lightbulb moment earlier! Yay! *angels come down and sing briefly, then float back up to finish their poker game* So it was like "What is Goldenflower feeling about all the evilness with Tigerstar?" Hm.... Ideas... *moment of silence* ENJOY!!! And, just letting you know,_

_EVERYTHING in italics and underlined is a flashback to before Bramblekit and Tawnykit are born and Tigerclaw is planning to kill Redtail. In that moment he is telling her how he plans to do that and then take over the forest._

**If I owned the Warriors, Firestar and Spottedleaf wouldn't have even looked at each other, the three would be Squirrelflight's kits, Leafpool wouldn't be exiled and Crowfeather wouldn't be an emotionless zombie. But that's just me, right?**

**Again**

Goldenflower paced around the shattered remains of ThunderClan territory. She knew she wasn't supposed to be here, by the orders of Firestar. It had become so dangerous around here. It wasn't the forest she used to know. But today the trees were quiet and the air held none of the stealth and tension that it usually did.

She was thinking of him again. Again. Her son, Brambleclaw was home, finally. He reminded her so much of him. Or, more so, what he used to be. And for the umpteenth time, he found herself feeling horribly guilty for comparing her own son to his father again. Again.

When Tigerstar had been younger, no ambition or thirst for power corrupted his mind. He used to be so... good. Any cat would tell each other, "Oh, that Tigerpaw is such a good cat." She knew. She remembered looking at him with admiration, and feeling her heart twist as he looked back the same way. Goldenflower used to love him so much. But doing that was impossible now. She could at least remember how it used to be, and love that.

_**~*Flashback*~**_

_"Tigerclaw, what are you saying?! You can't do that!"_

_"But Goldenflower,____I can. I can do anything, and it can get me to power. If you would just join me, then we could be together like that. You could have the life you've always dreamed of! With me."_

_"But the kits, Tigerclaw! What about them? Would you just abandon them now?"_

_"Of course not! Once they're a bit older, we can take them!"_

_"No, Tigerclaw, I can't let you do this to us."_

_"Us?"_

_"I'm sorry, Tigerclaw. I __**do**__ love you, you know. This is your last chance. Power or me?"_

She'd never forget his answer. Ever. He never really loved her, she guessed.

_**~*"*~**_

_"What?! Tigerclaw how could you say that?! You told me--"_

_"That was before, Goldenflower. Anyone who can't be faithful to me isn't worth being anything to me."_

_"But Tigerclaw, please, if you could just start over--"_

_"I won't! Listen to me; I will __**never**__ throw this chance away! This is what I've been working for for years! If I start over, all of it will be lost. I won't lose it!"_

_"But Tigerclaw, you'll lose me."_

_Silence_

_"You win something, you lose something. Life's a balance."_

He didn't care. He didn't want her anymore. But she had done the right thing. Afterwards, she felt horrible. She still kind of did. Maybe he was so abrasive right then because she had broken his heart and maybe that was why he killed endlessly. Maybe he felt that if he tore out enough hearts, his would be mended somehow. She didn't know. She guessed she never would.

And jolt of pain sent Goldenflower back to reality with a thud. She smiled, wearily amused. She had been padding around aimlessly and stubbed her paw on a stump. She gave it a quick lick and turned around to go back to camp.

_**~*"*~**_

_She watched him go, her heart ripping in half, then in half again. Again._

_"Tigerclaw... no..."_

_The words were no more than whispers. As much as she wanted him to, he didn't hear. As much as she wanted to, he didn't love her._

_She whimpered and sank to the ground, burying her face in her paws. Why? Why, why, why? She could almost hear all the voices around her, echoing, repeating the same question she was asking herself. Why?_

_She could feel the little lives inside her. Would they be asking the same when they grew up and were told the truth? Would she even tell them the truth?_

_She sighed heavily and shook her head, trying to fling off all this premonition and pain as she watched him go, her heart tearing up again._

Again.

_Again._

Again.

__________________

_Awww.... Sad Goldy!!! WAAAAAAAH!!!! I do think I did a great job with this one, because even though Tigerstar's evil, I like to think that he had a good side once upon a time. R&R if you liked it!! Thanx!!!_


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